Monthly Archives: January 2012

Lost.

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Most people are lost

for words, 

me? I am lost

without them. 


A babygirl loses 

her doll

for the first time,

yet she is the one that feels lost. 


I lose myself 

in the shallow world, 

work, friends, life at the speed of light,


and my poetry winds down a road

unknown, 

it takes alien turns and 

twists around my neck

like an infant choking on an umbilical cord. 

Love holds me hostage

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Your mistakes

held me hostage

with my own love.


Your lies

disguised our truth,

the one that cut me deep.


Your ignorance

made me worthless

in my own reflection.


Your regret

pulled me back,

to a place I shouldn’t be going.


Your insistence

lured me

into empty hopes.


My trust

does not have strength

to be tested again.


My conscience

will not let me

love you again. 

Music Then and Now

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Since the 6th grade I have been listening to Metallica, Iron Maiden, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd – music that makes you feel something. In around the 12th grade, house & trance came in in a big way and I began to appreciate a new genre. Above & Beyond, Infected Mushroom, Armin van Buuren are some of the new artists I have grown to love.

I absolutely loved this comic strip because it speaks of music then and now. It’s not like the music now is not good, but I wish there was some way to tell everyone in the world that party music is not music that will awaken you, and music is such a treasure – each one of us should learn to treasure it. Music can change lives, just like words! 

 

If I could…

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This question really intrigued me. I decided to make a list here that I’m going to add on to whenever I think of something. So here goes:

1. I’d shout out from rooftops everything I really feel. Gut wrenching truth – not so much about others, more about myself. Something along the lines of, “I know I hurt people sometimes and then feel guilty about it and it kills little parts of me and that’s why I keep looking for things to believe in. At the sametime, I know I’m a good person and I know myself and believe I’m cut out to do something that’ll really make us think better. But sometimes, it’s hard to be completely honest with yourself and let go everything that doesn’t support you.”
This is only random blabber, but something along these lines. Declarations of love, hate, insecurities.. everything. I’d put it all out there for the world to hear.

2. I would live the 24 hours doing anything that my heart desires, for 2 reasons. i. to feel what it feels like to not think at all and just act. ii. To see if I have the courage to really live like that (I fear that the boundaires we think are outside of us, are in wayyy too deep)

3. I would spend every awake minute with people I love. Not that I don’t get to do it otherwise, but if I’m gonna do everything my heart desires I’m going to be around people who mean everything to me.

4. I would spell out my true feelings of love, discontent, hope etc. to people I love to see how they really feel about me.

5. I would send anonymous letters to all the politicians and people who can make a difference asking them to man up, to do something about our country – it would be blantant truth written in the hope to shake them from their selfish selves. Since the day will be rewinded, they cannot be traced back to me. =)

6. I would sing all day 😀 This is a good time to tell you that I’m not a very good singer but I still love singing. If my day was to be rewinded, no one would remember how I made a fool of myself.

I can’t think of too many things – which is a good thing! It means I already do things that I really, really wish to do! #win.

What would you do?