Wrote this 2 years ago before starting college. it’s nice to read it now and think about that first feeling!
to new Beginnings!
The sun sets and my mind wanders to the full moon in the sky that is gleaming with its fresh victory. “It won’t be time before the sun beats you again”, I whisper to the delighted moon. It is the end of today and tomorrow marks a new beginning. 2nd September, the day I commence a new phase of my life. It is a new beginning, one that most people get, but only some respect. It marks the end of the part of me that came home at night to a family dinner, or the part of me who had everything she wanted moments after the words left her mouth. I was stepping into a new life – independence is a positive way to put it, loneliness the flipside.
Next morning I woke up and looked outside my window for the last time before I left home. The overwhelming excitement of a was start lost in the sudden realization that the beginning of college also marks an end. Will I ever live at home again? The beginning is a milestone, it’s a step to reach for more, to be more. Nothing is mapped out for you for tons of options – you can pick one. Opportunities are given to a person, but how you walk on that path will mould you.
A beginning connects to an end so profoundly that their link forms time in itself. The beginning of a day is the end of a night, and the end of the day brings back the darkness in the sky. College is the next step in my life and since it will be crucial in shaping the road after, I have to step with my best foot forward. As I shut the door of my room for the final time, I come to terms with the end and look onto the horizon to the twilight of my start.
People may see the glass half empty, but the glass I see is half full.
City of Blinding Truths
Mumbai teaches you ignorance. It is an inevitable lesson imparted irrespective of if you live in the tallest luxury tower or a tent on the sidewalk. It teaches you how to perceive but not act, it teaches you how to pity while remaining in the mode of inaction.
When I first moved to Mumbai, I used to look up every time I heard a knock on my car window. I used to look at the child cladded in over sized brown clothes with an infant on his back and stare at them until my eyes watered, wondering how life can be so different on the other side of this transparent, one centimeter thick wall. I asked my mom why no one does anything for them, and she said that walls separate worlds and there are too many walls for people to reach out into their world. All we can do it give them some Parle-G and hope that they eat it.
I don’t look up when they knock on my window now. I raise my hand and shoo them, as if they are stinking up my surroundings.
Something happened the other day though, that made me question our comfort with this ignorance & inaction. I stepped out of a high-end restaurant in Mumbai and while I was waiting for my car, a woman was thrown onto the middle of the road. I looked on the sidewalk opposite me and saw the man who had pushed her. He wore brown trousers that used to be white and a shirt with missing buttons and grease stains. She remained sitting on the road, as if someone was holding her down, as if it wasn’t an alien feeling to be fallen on the road, wet with fresh raindrops. She sat there cursing at the man, still too scared to move towards him. The man sensed her fear. He walked on the street and slapped her. She screamed louder and a couple of people stuck their heads out from passing cars.
I ran to the road. “Hey! Leave her alone!” I yelled in Hindi. The man looked at me, raging. My friends grabbed me by the arms to stop me from going any further and starting a fight of my own.
“It’s their life! Don’t interfere,” my twenty-year old, college-going boyfriend said in a stern voice.
I turned around sharply and freed my hand. The valet was holding the door open for me. I obeyed him.
All the way home I thought that on one hand there is ignorance, on the other there is acceptance and I fear that our ignorance is being misunderstood as acceptance, our inaction is giving way to the wrong actions and our city is teaching us all the wrong lessons.